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Hotel Soap
Are you like me? I can't seem to help myself but whenever I'm in a nice hotel, I always take an unused bar of soap back home with me. Despite the fact, (you all know my obsession with Costco, where I buy Dove soap by the, er, flock-full) I have 617 bars always available in my linen closet. So it's not like I really need an extra bar of Hyatt or Marriott Deluxe Creme Conditioning Bar Supreme. But I can't help myself. Not that I'm inclined to take the teeny tiny bars that they provide you at the Holiday or Quality Inn. You know, the ones the size of your rear molars accompanied by a "luxurious" towel much like the size and texture of fine #4 sandpaper. I just like the big generous sized bars that are provided by Westin's and Hilton's. I think it's just that I like to believe that I'm in an exotic place when I'm bathing at home and this square of vegetable oil & lye bring me back on the road. Or perhaps I figure since I just spend over $180 on a room the size of a walk-in closet with a bedspread that probably hasn't been washed in 2 years, that the hotel owes me something. I mean I never take the shampoo & forget the useless sewing kit. Who needs the shoe shine rag. I'm totally uninterested in the conditioner and I've got enough skin lotion to lubricate a craggily elephant at the Bronx Zoo. But the soap...
...all right the mouthwash too!