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Halloween
It seems that Halloween has become a national holiday for parents with kids under the age of ten. Yesterday I had to endure four parades plus a school supported Spookfest celebration, not to mention the trick or treating finale. It might have been easier to go to work rather than take the day off as I did. Of course it would never cross my mind to take a day off on a legitimate holiday such as Columbus Day, Labor Day or even Arbor Day. (I do occasionally take off for Tishabov...some Jewish holiday of which I have no idea what it means, but I think the word sounds funny so I celebrate.)
My two boys aged 5 and 3 finally agreed on something in their lives rather than battling it out over the countless trivial things that they normally argue about, like who gets to sit next to Daddy at dinner and who will get to eat the abnormally large french fry. Unfortunately what they agreed upon was their costumes. You would think that if one of the boys wanted to be Buzz Lightyear than naturally the other would concur to be Woody. But that is not the way the Fuhr boys are programmed. Instead they both agreed to be Buzz Lightyear! Two Buzz's and no Woody's...resembling my sex life I'd say. So we marched in the Bedford Town parade amongst sixteen other Buzz's and a smattering of Woody's. To my chagrin you could hear parents from the viewing stands utter: "Oh look another Buzz Lightyear." or "Hey, those two brothers are both Buzz...where's Woody?"
Well, at least I got the costume at a discount thanks to the existing ABC/Disney corporate synergy. My ABC identification entitles me to a percentage off the goods at all of the Disney stores selling polyester clothing and stuffed mice at through-the-roof prices. With my company ID I was somehow able to get a 40% discount at the register and walked off with two Lightyears practically for the price of one. Its a good tip for those of you with ABC identification, but you won't fare as well with a CBS ID card. When I last checked into the CBS store, in my effort to find a good kiddy costume, they had little to offer. Only a small folding table with a scotch taped clearance sign selling such innocuous goods as the Morley Safer Foam Poker Visor, Charlie Rose Dolls that when it's button is pushed never stops asking questions until the batteries are pulled out, and lastly the Franklin Mint version of the Bryant Gumbel Watch Fob. Apparently the Gumbel goods were hot when he had his "Public Eye" show but have since been discounted for the great unwashed who need a trinket to show they were in New York after visiting the Letterman Show.
Well, now it's November, and within an hour of the clock striking 12 on the first of the month, the Retail Fairy floats down from the Heaven-Mart and waves her magic Watch Fob (a former 60 Minutes employee no doubt) and poof! All of the remaining Halloween merchandise is instantly changed over to an abundance of Christmas schlock. Unneeded snow globes with Santa waving, reindeer-a-million with flashing red noses, tin ornaments galore and the occasional Hanukkah fare sandwiched somewhere in the back of the store next to the 50% off Halloween candy. The shopping scene, like Christmas and Hanukkah, sort of reminds me of Buzz and Woody as there is an over representation of Buzz's with just enough Woody's to let you know that they exist. Buzz is Nintendo, Woody...a stale Panatone. So I guess my kids knew what they were doing all along...they're no fruit cakes.