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EZ Pass
Next to the microwave it's perhaps the best invention...ever. Nothing outside of cooking a 12 pound turkey in under 4 minutes gives me more pleasure than crossing the Tappan Zee Bridge at a speedy pace whilst mocking the losers in the cash lane. It's a superiority complex.
It seems to me that everyone should have EZPass, although I'm glad that everybody doesn't because that would make the purple lanes slower than the toll-taker operated version. People have the most unreasonable logic for not having this press-lock mounted radio device plastered on their windshield. Such as...
"I won't use it enough" or "I don't want the government knowing what I'm doing" (the big brother syndrome).
Gimme' a Brake, er Break! My mother-in-law is a "I won't use it enough" type, but she has an ulterior motive. She calls my wife to drive her everywhere because we're EZPass equipped and she's not. Thus it's not uncommon for my spouse to drive 50 miles out of her way to pick up her Mom just to save 15 minutes at the Whitestone Bridge.
But it's the conspiratorialists that really perturb me. I find it hard to fathom that people are worried that someone at the Triboro Bridge & Tunnel Authority knows that your car passed through the Lincoln Tunnel at 3:27pm last Thursday, motoring along at 12 miles per hour. Who cares? Unless your planning to murder your mistress. And if you are going to whack your girlfriend and have EZPass, there's a fairly simple solution anyway. Switch tags with your friend without his knowledge...all the tags look alike. This way while he's crossing the Verazzano Narrows at 10pm Tuesday on his way back to Staten Island, you can shoot your girlfriend behind the Ikea at exit 13A of the New Jersey Turnpike. Then just swap tags again after the dastardly deed and you'll have an instant alibi. Just make sure that you don't purchase a "Floop" or "Glubenhoffen" from the Ikea on your way out and put it on a credit card. Once they supeona your MasterCard bill your're certain to be thrown into the "pushknobben"...that's Swedish for the slammer.
Speaking of murder and EZPass, don't be the noodnick who doesn't mount the radio tag on the window and then goes helplessly into the toll booth waving the white box frantically with no effect. Because by the time the toll taker come by to re-wave your radio pass to let you go through, there's a growing line of disgruntled tagholders ready to kill you! That's right, one mile ahead your vehicle will be run off the side of the road by a vehicular swat team of velcroed radio device equipped speeders who may plan on teaching you a lesson.
Why wouldn't you just mount the damned thing anyway? You've got at $25,000 car with a radio/CD player worth $600 and you're worried that someone is going to snatch your tag and go on a joy ride through the Holland Tunnel six times (which by my estimates will take 17 hours) and thus costing you an entire $24?. Unless of course the thief has ideas of visiting the Ikea off the Turnpike with his mistress! But my motto remains the same....Live Life, Get Mounted.