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Cell Phones and Driving
I'm a little perturbed at all the government hoopla made over driving while talking on our cell phones. Lord knows that if it is ever banned completely we'll be going back to the stone ages of television production...Crews responding to pages/calls two days after their beepers go off & producers pulling over to the 7 Eleven's to call the office and set up their itineraries. We just can't let this happen! Besides some of the lawmakers arguments against driving and phoning are ridiculous! For example...
Critics claim that you are a more dangerous driver should you be arguing with your wife on the phone whilst speeding along in your Toyota. Give me a break!!! I can attest to the fact that it is extremely MORE dangerous to be driving and arguing with your wife while she's IN the car! At least on the phone there is no chance of being pinched really hard on the back of your arm, or having hot liquids dumped in your lap while doing 60 MPH on the Belt Parkway.
Critics claim that while you're holding your cell phone you aren't driving with two hands and that makes you potentially reckless. BullS___. Who the hell drives with two hands on the wheel anyway? Most of the time my right hand is either on the CD player, the radio, the cassette player, under my butt, or holding a cup of Starbucks. As a matter of fact, I am much more a danger during my morning commute while I have a Power Bar in my left hand, a cup of coffee in my right and a banana between my knees, which are my primary limbs for steering at that particular moment.
Critics claim that it is impossible to drive and dial without losing concentration of the road. Well, all right. They do make one good point. I've come a little closer to a few Lexus' fenders than I wish I had while calling Moviephone and using the various touch tone options, but the truth is nothing causes attention-deficit more while driving than having small kids in the back seat.
Children: I WANT THE BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! NO, I WANT BUZZ!
Me (turning around 180 degrees): If one of you doesn't take the damn Woody doll or Blues Clue's toy there's going to be some big trouble here! Understand?
Air bag: Deployed.